有没有经典的英语笑话，带翻译的
Marrying you has screwed up my life
我的心肝，我的挚爱，我美丽的贤妻，
我这辈子就毁在你手里。
2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
你的容颜依稀入梦境，
于是我在尖叫中惊醒。
3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
善良、聪慧、多情而性感，
可惜这些你一条都不占。
4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.
爱是上天赐福，爱情多么美好，
可我与你同眠只是因为喝高。
5. I thought that I could love no other
-- that is until I met your brother.
曾以为一生只爱你一个
直到遇见你的二表哥。
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with
the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents
more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。
“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老
太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Doctor: Your cough sounds much better today.
Patient: It should. I've been practicing all night.
医生：听上去你咳嗽今天好多了。
病人：应该如此。我昨晚练习了一整夜。
英语笑话 带中文翻译
Once upon a time ,a stupid guy went to the doctor's.
"What's the matter with you",asked the doctor.
"I have been broken all!",said the fool .
"Broken all,what's it mean?",the doctor was surprised.
Then,the fool pointed to his head and said:"Ouch!There is something wrong with my head."after that,he pointed to his back and said :"ouch,my back hurt."then,he touch his nose and said:"ouch,my nose hurt"……
The doctor thought a while and said :"you have a bad finger"
从前，有个傻瓜去看医生。那医生问他有什么病。那傻瓜说他全身伤了。那医生很疑惑。接着，那傻瓜用手指着头说：“很痛，我的头伤了。”接着，有指着背，鼻子，说它们都伤了。
那医生想了一会儿，说：“你的手指伤了。”
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
呵呵,一个比一个效率高.
Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!!!
拉登,一加拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯.他们擦了擦灯出现了一个精灵.精灵说:"我要满足你们每人一个愿望总共三个."加拿大人说:"我是个父亲我儿子将成为农夫,因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃."精灵说了咒语愿望实现了.拉登看了很惊奇,他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗.精灵又说了咒语愿望又实现了.布什总统问:"精灵请告诉我关于这座墙的事情."精灵回答:"墙厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而里面的任何东西出不来外面的任何东西进不去."布什总统说:"哇!那是座大桥耶...注满水!!!"
My Baby Swallowed a Bullet
Young Mother: "Doctor, my baby swallowd a bullet. What shall I do ?
Doctor: "Don't point him at anybody."
年轻的妈妈说：“医生，我孩子吞下一颗子弹，我该怎么办？”
医生说：“不要让他指着任何人。”
Notes
1. to swallow a bullet: 吞下一颗子弹
2. to point at: 对...瞄准
allybaby
Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"
两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”
Wasn't Asleep
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"
"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.
"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."
"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."
我没有睡着
当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒！”
“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。
“没睡着？可是你眼睛都闭上了呀？”
“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”
相关参考：
英语带翻译的笑话
英语带翻译的.笑话1:How Many Rabbits?多少只兔子？ Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have? Jonathan: Nine, sir.Teacher: Nine?Jonathan: I've got one already, sir.老师...
英语笑话带翻译 短一些
英语短笑话大全带翻译一：Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up.She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room...
带翻译的英语笑话
带翻译的英语笑话【1】 The Great Lion Hunter 伟大的猎手 A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeare...
简短的英语冷笑话带翻译
短一些英语笑话带翻译篇一 before the final examination, tom told his mother, "mom, i had a dream last night that i'd passed today's exam."在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。”"don't trust dreams, dear. it is said what...
英语小笑话,越短越好,带翻译
1、Goldfish金鱼 Stan: I won 92 goldfish.Fred: Where are you going to keep them?Stan: In the bathroom 。Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them!斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？斯丹：浴室。弗雷德：但是你想洗澡...
短的英语笑话带翻译
短的英语笑话带翻译一：Walking up to a department store's fabric(织物，布) counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?""Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with asmirk(假笑，傻笑) . "That's ...
简单的英语小笑话(带翻译)
1、Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：这个座位是空的么？ 女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。 &#...
英语笑话大全带翻译
Boom! He was ninety.仙女拿起魔杖，只听轰的一声!丈夫变成90岁的老翁了。英语笑话大全带翻译：用金钱来表达 Boy:Honey,my love of you is beyond expression.小伙子:亲爱的,我对你的爱,简直无法用语言来表达.Girl:Then you can use money to express it.姑娘:那你就用金钱来表达吧!
英语幽默笑话大全带翻译?
英语幽默笑话带翻译阅读 一 A Life for a Life 以“命”抵命 The English author, Richard Savage, was once living inLondon in great poverty. In order toearn a little money he hadwritten the story of his life, but not many copies of the bookhad beensold in the shops, and ...
英语小笑话带翻译简短
“没有问题，”代表回答道。“四十万元给我，四十万元给你，最后四十万元则给那家波兰佬开的公司。”简短英语小笑话带翻译篇2 黑人英语 The black couple already had eight children, and Lula May was pregnantwith her ninth. Finallyshe convinced her husband to get a vasectomy.一对黑人夫妇已有...
相关评论
17669797981： 1.Henry and Mary had just got married, and everybody was enjoying their wedding party. There was plenty to eat and plenty to drink, and everybody was getting very merry, when a very thin, very young man came into the room. He looked at Mary ...
17669797981： 1. Virtue Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed ...
17669797981：[答案] 英语笑话(一)Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea? A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys. 猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢?你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小.但除此之外呢,...
17669797981： !.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and ...
17669797981： 一个醉酒司机和交警的搞笑对话 A driver is stopped by a police officer. The driver asks, ＂What' s the problem officer?＂ Officer: ＂You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.＂ Man: ＂No sir, I was going 65.＂ Wife: ＂Oh, Harry. You were going 80....
